Sorry
by nirvanah
Summary: Rimmer and Lister are arguing again...
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry**

They were used to it now, the three of them

They were used to it now, the three of them. They were used to the slamming doors, the raised voices, insults hurled across the cockpit, guitars being thrown down the corridor, Kryten having to repair it, one of them moving out at three in the morning, all that smeg, to the point that they only noticed it when it wasn't there.

However, this had gone on _too_ long, far, far, _far _too long.

Kryten, Cat and Holly had had enough. When Rimmer and Lister were at loggerheads, the three of them stayed out of the way and left them to sulk in separate rooms. The next day, things had usually subsided, or at least fallen to a dull roar, but lately they hadn't stopped. No one, not even the one's arguing, could remember for the life of them what all the arguing was about or when it had began. It could have been weeks ago, but it felt like years. Whenever it was, it hadn't stopped since it had started.

Now, Rimmer and Lister couldn't even have a conversation without it erupting into a barney. If they absolutely, positively had to speak to one another, they would do it through Cat or Kryten, just as they were doing at that moment in the cockpit.

"Kryten could you please tell Lister to launch the scouter," Rimmer said coldly.

And Lister wouldn't answer until Kryten had spoken:

"Mister Lister, Mister Rimmer says 'would you be so kind as to launch the scouter?'?"

And then Lister, from the left pilot seat replied, "Cat would you please tell Rimmer to get up off his arse and do it himself,"

"Gladly!" the Cat replied, and he spun round in the right pilot seat to face a steely looking Rimmer, "You heard him Radar-Dish-Ears, he said get up off your arse and do it yourself!"

"Holly, perhaps you'd be so kind as to jog Super Slob's memory and remind him that being as we are on low power at the mo, I cannot as I am not operating on my hard-light drive, my hologram's on minimum power,"

"Holly, perhaps you'd be as kind as to tell Rimmer to drop dead!" Lister shouted without turning around.

"Holly perhaps you'd be even kinder to remind Lister that I am immune to the insult 'drop dead' because I already have done!"

"Smeg off!" Holly retorted, "What do you think I am, some kind of insult bypass?"

"I'll tell you exactly what I think you are," Rimmer said furiously, flaring his nostrils.

"Hol, don't waste your time on 'im," Lister interrupted.

"S'alright Dave," Holly replied, "I'll just turn him off if he's gonna give me smeg,"

"Oh look, the Vindaloo Kid's got everyone on his side!" Rimmer snapped.

"Well who'd miss ya if you weren't here?" Lister retorted, "You're not exactly easy on the eyes either!"

"Oh that's rich coming from you, Gerbil Face!"

"Go to hell Rimmer!"

"As long as it's without you it would be like a holiday in the Pacific!"

"Sirs, Sirs, Sirs!" Kryten clucked, "Honestly, all this arguing, it's so paltry!"

"Engines stopped, scouter launched," Cat interrupted.

"You're both adults," The mechanoid continued, "And so you should be able to sort out your differences like adults and stop all this… gobbledygook!"

Rimmer rolled his eyes, "Look at us! This is pathetic, we're getting counselling as if we're a couple, from a sanitation droid!"

"Yeeuck!" Lister forced himself to make as disgusted a face as possible, "Us…" he said, jabbing at the buttons on the control panel, "A _couple_? I'd rather elope to Dullsville with me Kiniterwowe bride and 'ave an extended honeymoon in Grimsby!"

"Oh grow up David Lister," Rimmer turned to leave.

"Get a life, Arnold Judas Rimmer,"

"Is that supposed to be funny?" Rimmer enquired frostily, stopping in the doorway.

"What?" Lister asked.

"'Get a life'" Rimmer replied, "Making jokes about me being dead is not funny. It's just low-"

"I wasn't!" rejoined Lister.

Cat and Kryten, who were humbly getting ready to explore the planetoid in silence, looked at one another knowingly; _here we go_.

"Yes you were!" Rimmer was saying.

"No I weren't!" Lister protested, "I just forgot!"

"What, doesn't the 'H' remind you!?" Rimmer glared, prodding his forehead.

"Yeah," Lister snapped back, "It reminds me all right. It reminds me what I really think. It reminds me that you're a total git,"

Ooops.

That had come out a lot more maliciously then intended.

Rimmer looked hurt.

There was a pause.

A pause so silent a pin could have been heard dropping.

Plink…

"So that's what you really think is it?" Rimmer said quietly, "Thanks Lister. Thanks a lot." he left the cockpit.

Lister looked at the floor.

"Right," Holly piped up, "Now that I can get a word in edgeways, I'll tell you the news; we can't go outside yet cos we got a dust storm. Probably gonna last a good few hours,"

**To Be Continued**…


	2. Chapter 2

"_Hours_?" Cat made a face, "Well that's just great. Now what are we gonna do?" he looked over at Lister for the answer.

After quite a long moment of silence, Lister, who was now up pacing the floor, and whose mind was elsewhere, didn't get a chance to reply because the lights went out and they were plunged into darkness for a minute, until the emergency back up kicked in.

"It would help if we actually knew_ why _the power went down in the fir-" Lister broke off and scrutinised the floor because Rimmer came marching into the room, straight past him, and up to Kryten,

"Why isn't someone outside and looking at Starbug?" he muttered, "This power loss is playing havoc with my light bee,"

Lister risked glancing at him and saw that he was fading and then reappearing. It was obviously a very strange feeling because he watched as Rimmer reached out a hand towards the pilot seat to steady himself but of course his hand passed straight through it and he stumbled and struggled to redeem balance.

When the hologram composed himself, Kryten took the liberty of explaining the situation, "Unfortunately we cannot go outside Sir for sometime; we're in the midst of a dust storm larger than Mister Cat's collection of suits,"

"Wow! It must be huge!" Cat grinned.

"Other than the fact that you're rapidly shifting between existence and non-existence, is everything alright Mr Rimmer?" Kryten asked.

Rimmer shook his head in disbelief and left the cockpit again, catching Lister's guilty glance on the way and looking back with disconsolate brown eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for your review Bialy! Here's another chapter for you :D**

"A few hours," Lister said contemptuously, "A _few _hours you said," He was sitting moodily in the cockpit with the Cat, Holly and Kryten, still kicking himself over what he had said to Rimmer earlier; sure, Rimmer drove him mad sometimes, kept him _in_sane instead of sane, but even so, he hadn't deserved that, and Lister hadn't meant it.

They had been waiting for well over a _few_ hours. None of them had really moved much either; Lister had moved from being fed-up, to being totally and utterly cheesed off, Kryten had moved from being apologetic to being melancholy, Holly had moved from being bored to really smegging bored, and the Cat had moved from being awake to being asleep.

"Sorry Dave," Holly answered, "I had a case of Weathermen's Prediction there,"

The Cat opened one eye drearily, then sat up altogether and asked from the left pilot seat, "Weathermen's what?"

"Weathermen's Prediction," Holly repeated, "You know, I tell you one thing; the other happens… you go out dressed for a heat wave when you should have dressed for a monsoon…"

"Well we're stuck here till it clears," Lister said grumpily.

Rimmer scooted in, looking quite nauseous due to the effects the power scarcity was having on his light bee, "What on Io's going on?" he grimaced.

"We're sitting here and vegetating, Arnold," Holly said as if it wasn't obvious enough.

Lister met Rimmer's affronted eyes, tried an apologetic look, to which Rimmer's eyes didn't change, and then tore them away and looked at his boots.

Cat, who was watching them and sensing the tension, made an irritated face, "You know you guys are really beginning to put my back up…"

"Agreed," Holly said, "If I had a back, it would be up,"

Kryten just gave a tut, trying not to make a fuss.

"How can a dust storm last this long?" Rimmer said, looking away from Lister.

"Well it has Arnold," Holly said simply.

Lister sighed, reached out, and caught Rimmer's light bee as he faded out altogether. He thought for a minute and then said to Kryten, "It is possible to go out in a dust storm, isn't it?"

"Well, yes Sir, but certainly not one this powerful," Kryten replied.

"Soon as it calms down a bit, I'm goin' out there," Lister decided. What better way to apologise to Rimmer than to find out what had caused the power drop and fix it so that Rimmer could use his hard-light drive and feel more like a human?

They hadn't the first clue to why power levels had suddenly dropped on Starbug, all they knew was that everything had been going normally; Rimmer and Lister had been at variance, Kryten had been ironing, the Cat had been re-doing his hair… and then they had suddenly lost power and had to find somewhere to land.

The only strange thing had been that the Cat had smelt something, but nothing had shown up on their screens, and they didn't have any readings.

Lister had checked the ship and found no sign of the cause, so they had concluded that it was on the outside.

Eventually, when the storm subsided enough, Lister braved the outdoors.

"Can you see anything?" the Cat asked over the transmitter.

"Yeah," Lister replied, "Just about… there's some sort of tracker on the side of Starbug…" he prised it off the side with difficulty.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! The power's back!" Cat yowled.

"Brutal!" Lister said triumphantly, glad he could finally get back to the safety of Starbug, "Let me in!"

"So what d'you think it's come from?" Lister asked moments later, when they had taken off and he was settled in his usual seat in the cockpit. He took Rimmer's light-bee, placed it on the ground, away from him, and Rimmer materialised, in his hard-light form. The first thing he set eyes on was Lister, who looked back at him, opening his mouth to say something and then shutting it again as Rimmer gave him an indignant glare and then left in silence.

After a pause, Kryten, who had been inspecting the strange devise, spoke up, "Well… I've never seen anything like this before...my guess is as good as yours, Sir,"

**A/N: Hope it was good, I was a little unsure... let me know, and visit my forum! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

Much later that day, Rimmer wandered into the sleeping quarters, brushed the sugar-puff sandwich crumbs off his bunk, and then lay down on his back miserably. Lister's words still echoed in his mind:

'_It reminds me all right. It reminds me what I really think. It reminds me that you're a total git,'_

That had hurt.

Out of all the remarks and insults Lister had said to him during their arguments, spats, quarrels, altercations, shouting matches, and the like, that had hurt the most. The sincerity of it had come as shock, as if someone had slapped him in the face, or suddenly struck out and pushed him to the ground, and that too had come up to slap him. He did want them to get on, and on the rare occasion, they did, but then one of them would do something that would fan the flames and it would all start again.

"It's fine Kryten!"

Rimmer froze as he first heard Lister's voice, then shut his eyes tight and pretended to be asleep as he then heard it get louder as he neared the sleeping quarters.

"It's fine man!"

Kryten's less than graceful footsteps could be heard as he hurried after the Scouser, "Sir! Don't be vulgar! I'm very surprised that shirt hasn't crawled off your body of its own accord by now!"

In the sleeping quarters, Rimmer made a disgusted face.

"Smeggin' 'ell!" Lister groaned, "Just leave it Kryties; it can wait another week can't it?"

"No Sir, it certainly cannot!" Kryten insisted, "In fact I don't ever remember washing it!"

Rimmer heard the faint sound of buttons being undone and cloth being thrown in the air. Then, Lister's voice:

"There. 'Appy now?"

"Thank you Sir," Kryten said huffily, "It's for your own good Sir,"

Lister scoffed and entered the sleeping quarters, "Night Kryten,"

"Goodnight Mister Lister. I can assure you your shirt will be cleaner than a nun's bloomers by tomorrow morning,"

Lister smiled, shook his head and shut the door behind him. Then he went to the wardrobe and dragged out an old shirt for bed, "Rimmer?" he said, yanking it down over his head and pulling his dreads out the back, "Rimmer? You awake?" he stepped out of his trousers and left them in a heap on the floor, "Smeghead?"

Rimmer stayed quiet.

Lister came over to him and leaned in close, "_Rimmer_?" He hissed.

'_Get away from me, lager breath,' _the hologram thought.

"Rimmer I 'aint loopy, I know yer awake," Lister said prodding his shoulder, "I need to talk to ya!"

In response, Rimmer turned around onto his side, so that his back was facing Lister.

"Rimmer, it's important!"

No reply.

"Fine," Lister sighed, jumping up onto his own bunk, "Be a smegger then,"

**A/N:** **Sorry it's such a short chapter. More coming soon! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

Rimmer and Lister glared at each other from opposite ends of the table, which stood for a breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner, and poker table. At that precise time of day, it was a breakfast table.

Cat was getting more and more riled, and made a comment, but being as his fangs were wedged into a slice of toast it was unintelligible.

Lister made another angry face at Rimmer, grabbed the salt and pepper, and shook them into his mutton vindaloo. He accidentally elbowed his lager, which toppled over and sloshed onto the table.

"Hey," Cat said, frowning, "Do you mind Monkey? I'm wearing velvet over here!"

"Gimme a break Cat!" Lister snapped, standing it back up.

Kryten dived in between them and mopped it up, "Honestly," he muttered, "If I was given a nickel for every spill I had to clean up I'd be moneyed up to the nines by now…"

"You're a sanitation droid, you goit of a golf ball head," Rimmer remarked, "That's what you're supposed to do,"

"Forgive me, but I don't remember asking for your opinion you smee heeeeee!" Kryten made a face.

"Hello?" Holly shouted, angrily, over the bickering, "Can anyone hear me? You all forget about poor old Holly who's trying to focus on guiding the ship through all sorts of smeg when you're having your differences of opinion don't you! Hello?

"If you guys don't shut up, you're toast!" Cat hissed.

"Toast?" Talkie Toaster piped up, as he had been doing since they had come down to breakfast, "Someone want toast?"

"**NO!"** They all said together.

"Okay!" The toaster retorted defensively, "I was just asking. Sheesh!"

"Sirs! Sirs!" Kryten fussed, waving his hands "What we need to do is take a deep breath in…"

They all did so.

"And out…"

As Lister breathed out, Rimmer jerked away from him and flared his nostrils angrily. Lister made a face.

"Right," Kryten said, "Are we calm?"

The Cat gave him a sceptical look, "If you call a raging male lion trapped in a tiny little cage calm then I'm great…"

"If you call a Kiniterwowe with its fur trapped in a vice calm, then yeah, I'm calm an' all," Lister glared.

Rimmer looked skyward and breathed out exasperatedly. It was ludicrous, they may as well have been having breakfast smack bang in the middle of a firing line.

At that moment, the ship lurched forcefully to the right, flinging Rimmer and Lister into the wall. As it jerked the other way, they bowled into the Cat and Kryten, sending them all crashing into a heap.

"Emergency, emergency," Holly announced, over a blearing siren "Get the red alert bulb out. Big explosion in the engine room,"

They staggered into the cockpit, and plunged into their seats.

"What on Io caused an explosion in the engine room?" Rimmer exclaimed.

"I think I can vouch for that one Sir," Kryten explained, grimacing guiltily, "I left that tracker we found in there for safe keeping. I'm so sorry-"

"At the moment Dopey Droid, there's no time for apologies; Starbug's doing the equivalent of an Irish jig!" Rimmer yelled.

"We've got to try and land!" Kryten instructed.

"Yeah, there's no point even attempting to fix the engines while we're boogieing in mid air!" Cat agreed, wrestling with the controls, "But I gotta hand it to her, this thing does some pretty jazzy moves!"

"There's a planet not too far from here," Rimmer said, trying to read his screen and hold onto his seat, "Only about twenty clicks away by the looks of it!"

"A superlative suggestion Sir!" Kryten said, "The scan reports severe climate, but it's our only chance, we'll have to take her down!"

"We're heading for it dudes," Holly said, "'Ang about, brace yourselves!"

Lister clung onto his head rest and Rimmer put his hands over his ears and shut his eyes tight as Starbug hurtled down through the sky and crash landed into snow several feet deep, sending it spraying out in all directions, and the Starbug satellite hurtling through the freezing air.

"Well," Holly said, "You've gotta laugh,"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated this is a while, I've been busy with a Rimmer/Kochansky fic! ;D**

Lister, buried under several blankets and huddled in his seat in the cockpit, glanced at Rimmer who was standing nearby, looking at the scanner report screen. The hologram returned his glance and said impassively, "If you were down there helping Kryten, the back-up would be on a lot quicker and it would start warming up in here,"

"For once, I'm agreeing with Molecule Mind over here," Cat said, shivering in his seat under several layers of flashy clothing, each suited to the other.

"I want to," Lister replied, speaking more to the Cat because Rimmer was ignoring him, "But I'm too smegging cold to move!"

"More like too smegging lazy…" Rimmer said under his breath.

"What?" Lister glowered, "Why don't you go down and 'elp 'im?"

Rimmer arched an eyebrow, "What use will I be? I'll be as much help as wisp in a tornado,"

"Alright Dudes?" Holly asked, appearing on the screen, "Power'll be back on in a mo,"

"Why'd it have to be a freezing cold, ice laden frost bitten place? Why not a really hot one? At least then we could have sunbathed!" Cat sulked.

"Never mind. At least you can go out and write you name in the snow if you don't mind getting frostbite in a rather unpleasant place," Holly said.

Rimmer sighed.

"Now, I came to ask you if you wanted the bad news or the really bad news," Holly carried on, making a serious face.

Lister screwed his face up, "The really bad news Hol, get it outta the way,"

"Alright, here it comes; the really bad news is that there is actually no bad news, it's all really bad news. The other really bad news is that some parts have fallen off Starbug,"

"What parts are there to have fallen off of Starbug that haven't done so already?" Rimmer enquired, hands on his hips.

"Well," Holly said, "Put it this way; the next things that fall off, if anything else, will be you lot falling _out_, along with the cockpit and the midsection. It's an insurance right-off I tell you, definitely wouldn't pass its MOT,"

Rimmer made a face, "Isn't life smegging great…"

"Don't you mean isn't dea-" Lister shut himself up, deciding that it wasn't an appropriate remark to make in his current situation with Rimmer.

He was going to launch into an apology, but a soft mechanical whirring noise stopped him, and he turned to see Kryten.

"There," The droid said, pleased, "That's the emergency back-up sorted,"

And when Lister turned back to look at Rimmer, he was looking at Kryten, giving him one of the looks that Lister had learned to read: '_smug gimboid'_

"Now it's warming up," Cat said, "I can get my beauty sleep! Of course, I'm so beautiful that I couldn't look any better, but I still need to sleep!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Sirs, I suggest the rest of us discuss how we are going to get out of this mess,"

They all went to the midsection and sat at the table, Rimmer and Lister at opposite ends, and Holly on the screen behind them.

"By the way," Holly informed them, "We're also buried several feet down in the snow, and we may have fixed the back-up but we haven't fixed the engines, so even if we dig ourselves out _and _find the parts, we're smegged if we can't fix the engines,"

"Great," Rimmer said, that being the only contribution he had made to the conversation. Well, that and 'Gimboid,'

"Let's just concentrate on getting the parts back," Lister muttered, "We'll think o' the rest later,"

"Hey guys!" Cat grinned, in a total different outfit, twirling into the room after they had sat and pondered for a good while, "What did I miss?"

Kryten launched into a long and detailed explanation, whilst Rimmer and Lister made angry faces at one another.

"You lost me at 'basically'," Cat said blankly.

Lister sighed, "Okay. One of us has gotta go out in that and try and find the parts,"

"Well it aint gonna be me!" Cat exclaimed, "I'm too good to freeze,"

"It's not gonna be you anyway," Lister said, "It's gonna be me,"

"But Sir!" Kryten objected, concerned, "It's bitterly cold out there, might I suggest that Mr Rimmer goes instead? After all, he can switch to soft-light and not feel the cold,"

Lister saw Rimmer open his mouth to protest, so he said loudly, "Well he aint gonna go out in it is he?" and got up to go and get his coat, muttering, "Too much of a spineless, gutless, smegger," just loud enough for Rimmer to hear.

In response, the hologram leapt up from the table and barged past him, "I think you'll find I am coming,"

Lister grinned victoriously to himself; that plan had worked nicely. If they were both stuck in the middle of nowhere, Rimmer wouldn't be able to walk away when he tried to apologise.

Rimmer may not have been able to walk away, but he was able to walk fast, much faster than Lister, who hadn't been expecting him to be able to power-walk through such extreme conditions. Nor had he been expecting the severe blizzard that greeted them as they left Starbug, or the bone-penetrating sub-zero temperature.

"_Rimmer!_" he yelled, hardly able to breathe, "RIMMER!"

The soft-light hologram turned around, glaring through the snow, "_What?_" He yelled back.

"_Stop walking so smegging fast_!" Lister gasped, "_And I need to talk to ya_!"

Rimmer waited for him to catch up and then shouted over the howling wind; "I came here to look for the parts, not have a conversation!" he started walking again.

"_Rimmer, wait! RIMMER! You know what, fine_!" Lister bellowed, trudging along, "_I give up_!"

They walked for what felt like ages; even Rimmer was tired and had slowed to Lister's pace. The blizzard made it almost impossible to see anything.

"_This is ridiculous_!" Rimmer cried, "_It's like looking for your Kiniterwowe bride in a wig shop_!"

Lister, shuddering violently, nodded weakly, "_L- Let's go back_…" he stuttered.

Rimmer frowned as he looked at Lister; he didn't look so good, "_Er… how cold is it exactly_?"

"_Why don't ya switch to hard-light and find out_?" Lister replied.

Rimmer did so and drew his breath in sharply as the cold hit him, "_W- Why didn't you tell m- me it was this sodding cold_?!"

"_Well I thought ya might of smegging noticed_!" Lister shouted back with added anger, "_And you weren't talking to me! In fact, why are you even talking to me now_?!"

"_Because you look worse than that time Kryten offered you a bunch of grapes_!"

"_Well I feel fine. Okay?_" Lister glared, waveringly. He started walking again.

"_Are you sure_?"

"_Yeah_! _What do you care anyway? Leave me alone_!"

However, as they went on, Lister began to feel worse and worse. And more and more cold and tired, _so tired_, until he couldn't go on anymore, and he sank to the floor with a moan.

"_Lister?_" Rimmer turned to his bunkmate, "_Lister, get up!_"

"_I- I can't…_" he replied feebly, "_I'm so cold…_"

"_Lister_!" Rimmer said, helplessly, panic rising.

"_Just let me sleep…_" he whimpered, lying down in the snow.

"_No_! _No Lister, don't do that_!" Rimmer knelt down beside him and helped him up into a sitting position, "_Come on_ _please try to get up!_"

Lister frowned faintly, his head lolling, "_Can't… I'm too… too tired…_" he closed his eyes.

"_Lister_! _Lister_!" Rimmer cried, struggling to hear him over the shrieking blizzard, "_Lister, can you hear me_?_ Lister, look at me_!"

In response, Lister briefly opened his eyes but they were unfocused. _Smeg. _ Rimmer thought, looking around franticly for some sort of help, but then his conscience rather crudely screamed at him, _what are you expecting to see, the fairy smegging Godmother? You're the only one who can help him, so don't just sit there like a git, HELP HIM_!!"

And so Rimmer lifted up him up, and started towards the way they came, carrying an almost unconscious Lister.

"Oh I knew I shouldn't have let them go!" Kryten wailed in a high pitched tone.

Holly and Cat gave each other an exasperated look.

"Will you shut up Panel-Head!?" Cat hissed, making the pilot seat spin, "You're really beginning to get on my nerves!"

"But I've let them go out all alone!" The mechanoid squealed. The fact that they had lost contact with them just minutes after they had left the ship didn't exactly help matters.

Cat made a face, "If he doesn't shut up I'm gonna-"

"Hang on a mo," Holly interrupted conveniently, "Quick, take a look at this!"

They looked at the screen.

Cat blinked several times, "Either that's Goal-Post Head carrying Donkey Breath, or I need a lie down!"

"_Mister Lister_!" Kryten yelled, clanking off at high speed to open the door, with Cat following him.

Rimmer, walked in, exhausted, "What are you all staring at?" he panted, "Hurry up and get to the medi-bay, it's like carrying Gulliver back from his travels!"

Kryten rushed off, wailing to himself.

Rimmer, still managing to hold Lister, began to march past the Cat, who was watching with raised eyebrows, "If you really find it that interesting, take a picture Fish Breath!"

"Don't worry," Holly piped up, "I already have," it appeared on the screen, "I think it'll make a nice background for the Navi-Comp, don't you?"

"Will he be alright?" Rimmer asked later, standing by the bed where Lister was sleeping.

"Yes he should be fine Sir, now he's warming up," Kryten replied.

Rimmer sat down and ran a hand through his hair. _What a day_. He looked over at Lister again and thought how ridiculous they had been lately, with their arguing. He looked away again, rested his elbows on his knees and bent his head down, trying to ease the pain in the back of his neck and in his back.

"Sir," Kryten said, breaking the silence, "Might I ask why you and Mr Lister have to argue so much? I mean, you go from arguing all day and night, to saving his life…"

"I do not know Kryten," Rimmer replied, not looking up, "We've always argued. But in a way, if we didn't… well we wouldn't be Rimmer and Lister,"

"I don't quite follow you Sir…"

"Well if we didn't argue over the most outrageous things for the most ludicrous amount of time, we wouldn't be us; that's what we do," Rimmer replied, only realising it as he said it.

"Hey!" Cat appeared in the doorway, "When is it dinner time? I'm hungry!"

"Shhh!" Kryten clucked, waving his hands, "Goodness me, that's all you've been asking me Mr Cat! Please come out of this room, Mr Lister needs his rest!"

Rimmer looked up, watched them both make a clamouous exit, then put his head down again, and rested his hands on the back of his neck.

"Smeghead? That you?"

"Lister?" Rimmer looked up again.

"Heeeeey Rimmer…." Lister mumbled, turning his head from side to side.

"How do you feel?"

"With me 'ands…" Lister replied, grinning inanely.

"Very funny," Rimmer shook his head, "I can see you're fine,"

"Why do ya look so smegged off?" Lister asked, looking at the hologram enquiringly.

"Did you forget that you called me a git?"

"That's because you are," Lister smiled.

"Oh do you know what, I'm not in the mood," Rimmer said, getting up crossly and leaving the room.

"Rimmer! Rimmer, wait! I'm only joking! Rimmer! Oh, what is _wrong_ with you?" Lister shouted, sighing exasperatedly.

After a few minutes, he sat up and looked around the medi-bay. _How the smeg, did I get here anyway_? He thought, rubbing his face.

"Mister Lister Sir!" Kryten fussed, hurrying into the room with the Cat behind him, "How are you feeling?" he handed Lister a tray of soup.

"Not bad… what's this?" Lister asked, looking down at it.

"Vindaloo soup Sir," Kryten replied.

"Brutal! Thanks Krytes!" Lister grinned.

"Now," Cat said, turning to Kryten, "Are you gonna tell him the horrific news or shall I?"

"Horrific news?" Lister looked up at them, concerned.

"Er, horrific news Sir?" Kryten asked, looking at the Cat, who leaned in close to him and whispered something inaudible.

"But that's wonderful news Sir!" Kryten replied, "Mister Lister wouldn't have survived if wasn't for Mr Rimmer!"

"Hello, what are you guys talking about?!" Lister demanded.

"Let me explain Sir," Kryten began, "When-"

"You really should eat first," Cat interjected, "It'll put you off!"

"Just carry on Kryties!" Lister said over the Cat.

"Well," Kryten began again, "When you and Mr Rimmer went out to find the Starbug parts in such perilous weather, you got too cold, and became ill, and if it wasn't for Mr Rimmer… you may not have survived!" he ended the sentence in a high-pitched, tearful squeal.

"Kryten, _Kryten_!" Lister sighed, "What exactly did Rimmer do?"

"He carried you all the way back to the Bug Sir,"

"You what?" Lister asked, bemused.

"It's true," Holly said, appearing on the screen, "We took the picture, see…"

"Smeggin' 'ell!" Lister stared at the screen, "Rimmer did that…"

"Yup," Holly said simply.

"And all I've ever done is treat 'im like smeg…"

"Yup," Holly repeated.

"He must hate me now…"

"Yup-"

"Hol! Belt up man!"

"Alright, keep your dreads on!" Holly replied, frowning.

"Krytes, where'd Rimmer go?" Lister asked.

"I don't know Sir," the mechanoid answered, "But please, take a few more minutes rest and eat before you get up Sir,"

"Alright, fine," Lister replied, "But then I've gotta go find 'im,"

"We'll leave you in peace Sir," Kryten said, shooing the dancing Cat out of the room as he left.

"Right, hand me that…" Rimmer instructed, waving his finger in the direction of the toolbox.

"I'm just looking so nice!" Cat beamed, grinning at his reflection in a spanner.

"_I said hand me that_!" Rimmer screeched angrily.

"Here you are Mr Rimmer," Kryten said, handing him the screwdriver instead.

"Not that," Rimmer groaned, in despair, "That." he whipped the spanner out of the Cat's hands.

"Hey, do you mind!"

"Not at all Garfield!" the hologram retorted.

Rimmer had now acquired a headache to go with his back and neck ache. He had tried to take his mind off everything by doing something engaging and useful, like fixing the engines. Or at least attempting to, but Kryten and the Cat, who had insisted on helping-- well, Kryten had, the Cat had just been dragged into it-- were driving him insane.

"Gordon Bennet," Holly said, appearing, "It looks worse than when we started,"

"And so will you if you don't dry up," Rimmer snarled, "Now, you can all either buck up, or get out of my smegging sight, because I have had a right _sodding _day, and if one more thing goes wrong I AM GOING TO GO POTTY!"

The others stood gormless, in silence, whilst Rimmer's voice echoed around the engine room.

"Rimmer…"

They all turned around to see Lister standing in the doorway.

Rimmer raised his eyebrows in reply.

"Can… can I talk to you…?" Lister asked, shifting awkwardly and looking at the floor.

"We'll just leave you two lovebirds alone…" Cat grinned, leaving the room with Kryten.

Now in the silence, with Rimmer glaring at him indignantly, Lister carried on looking at the floor, unsure of how or where to begin.

"Well say what you've got to say then,"

"… If, if I start to explain, you've got to promise me something…"

"What."

"That you won't walk away…"

"…"

"And that you'll hear me out…" Lister shuffled his feet.

"Fine."

"Okay… these past weeks we've been arguing non-stop, and it's stupid…" he gave Rimmer an awkward glance; he looked as if he was listening at least, "And yesterday, when I called you a git… I didn't mean it, I'm sorry…"

There was a pause.

"You were right," Rimmer said miserably, "I am a git. I deserved it,"

Lister looked up at him surprised, "You're not…"

"I am,"

"Rimmer, I'm not starting another argument over whether you're a git or not," Lister said defiantly, "You aren't, alright, if you were a git you wouldn't have carried me all the way back to Starbug in a smegging blizzard…" he gave a slight smile, "Thanks…"

Rimmer nodded and looked at his feet; "Well…" he shrugged.

"You're not a git, just a bit of a Smeghead," Lister grinned.

At first Rimmer looked furious and looked up to glare at his bunkmate. Then when he saw Lister's face he gave a slight smile and chuckled, "I guess you're right…"

Lister nodded, "Yeh,"

"But I'm sorry too; it's not as if it's your entire fault…"

"I know," Lister said dismissively, "Can we call a truce?" held out his hand for a handshake.

Rimmer stepped forward.

"Sorry," They said together as they shook hands.

**Red Dwarf**

_It's cold outside,_

_There's no kind of atmosphere,_

_I'm all alone,_

_More or less, _

_Let me fly far away from here,_

_Fun, fun, fun,_

_In the sun, sun, sun,_

_I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose,_

_drinking fresh mango juice,_

_Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes,_

_Fun, fun, fun_

_In the sun, sun, sun,_

_Fun, fun, fun_

_In the sun, sun, sun_

**A/N: **Well that's it, my first finished fanfic! **:D **Thanks to everyone for your reviews, hope you all enjoyed it and are looking forward to the sequel! But first, the Rimmer/ Kochanski fic! **:D**

_**N**__irvanah_ xx


End file.
